yeah like
i: had a headache
(and)
i: this is gonna suck
(so)
i: im not going (then i smoked and [the headache went away])
(but now)
its: too late
(fuck)
i: kinda just choked on my birth control pill
(and)
its: tiny
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
20.
20.1
And if I would have known then
What I know now:
That this moment would last forever,
That you would always be in His house
And that I would always be standing alone
Out in the drab suburban chill,
Always looking in...
And that there would always be a pane of glass between us.
Because there has been always a pane of glass between us.
20.2
Had I known had I known.
Had I known I would be sitting still chilled
A Junior now (A Junior then too)
Here in the lonely library,
Surrounded by dead knowledge,,,
still,,,
thinking about this moment:
when the pane of glass was between us and,
His diningroom-light warmed you,
displayed you and,
I was wearing two coats because,
unknowingly
I would need both.
Had
I
Had I.
20.3
If maybe Just.
Or one time,
I had exhaled
those
butterfly babies
with the perfect rhyme
O there was so much time
during that summer
O all I can now
is remember the dazes
20.4
Had I known It would always be this cold,
and that you would never leave the stoop.
(you made it to the stoop a couple times),
I know you remember
all your apologies
20.5
That night in Montreal was so cold:
We made faces at each other through the glass,
and you giggled once or twice
And I thought I had
put my hands between
your fingers
and hairs
and heart
when you said:
there was a time,
but it was never enough
and I thought,
just for a second:
about my mom's blue hands on white winter mornings,
creeping ever so silently into my sheets.
20.6
And before that in San Francisco
It was late when you said
is it okay
for me to say
'i love you'?
20.7
The autumn has always been
tense
Always been
dense
Always as sure as love.
Hello,,,we met, laughed and hugged goodbye? (and I liked it?)
And if I would have known then
What I know now:
That this moment would last forever,
That you would always be in His house
And that I would always be standing alone
Out in the drab suburban chill,
Always looking in...
And that there would always be a pane of glass between us.
Because there has been always a pane of glass between us.
20.2
Had I known had I known.
Had I known I would be sitting still chilled
A Junior now (A Junior then too)
Here in the lonely library,
Surrounded by dead knowledge,,,
still,,,
thinking about this moment:
when the pane of glass was between us and,
His diningroom-light warmed you,
displayed you and,
I was wearing two coats because,
unknowingly
I would need both.
Had
I
Had I.
20.3
If maybe Just.
Or one time,
I had exhaled
those
butterfly babies
with the perfect rhyme
O there was so much time
during that summer
O all I can now
is remember the dazes
20.4
Had I known It would always be this cold,
and that you would never leave the stoop.
(you made it to the stoop a couple times),
I know you remember
all your apologies
20.5
That night in Montreal was so cold:
We made faces at each other through the glass,
and you giggled once or twice
And I thought I had
put my hands between
your fingers
and hairs
and heart
when you said:
there was a time,
but it was never enough
and I thought,
just for a second:
about my mom's blue hands on white winter mornings,
creeping ever so silently into my sheets.
20.6
And before that in San Francisco
It was late when you said
is it okay
for me to say
'i love you'?
20.7
The autumn has always been
tense
Always been
dense
Always as sure as love.
Hello,,,we met, laughed and hugged goodbye? (and I liked it?)
Monday, November 28, 2011
19.
My Top Albums of 2011
1. Destroyer - Kaputt
2. Dum Dum Girls - Only In Dreams
3. tUnE-yArDs - w h o k i l l
4. Smith Westerns - Dye It Blonde
5. Nicolas Jaar - Space Is Only Noise
6. James Blake - James Blake
7. Yuck - Yuck
8. Danny Brown - XXX
9. St. Vincent - Strange Mercy
10. M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
11. Marissa Nadler - Marissa Nadler
12. Tennis - Cape Dory
13. Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues
14. Gang Gang Dance - Eye Contanct
15. Real Estate - Days
16. Mark McGuire - Get Lost
17. Tim Hecker - Ravedeath, 1972
18. Shabazz Palaces - Black Up
19. Youth Lagoon - The Year Of Hibernation
20. Skeleton Zoo - The Busride EP
1. Destroyer - Kaputt
2. Dum Dum Girls - Only In Dreams
3. tUnE-yArDs - w h o k i l l
4. Smith Westerns - Dye It Blonde
5. Nicolas Jaar - Space Is Only Noise
6. James Blake - James Blake
7. Yuck - Yuck
8. Danny Brown - XXX
9. St. Vincent - Strange Mercy
10. M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
11. Marissa Nadler - Marissa Nadler
12. Tennis - Cape Dory
13. Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues
14. Gang Gang Dance - Eye Contanct
15. Real Estate - Days
16. Mark McGuire - Get Lost
17. Tim Hecker - Ravedeath, 1972
18. Shabazz Palaces - Black Up
19. Youth Lagoon - The Year Of Hibernation
20. Skeleton Zoo - The Busride EP
Monday, November 14, 2011
18.
Its inexplicable in the same way as dying from old age.
In the same way as an Aspergian's love,
And as the texture of paper.
As effort and effort
And insomnia gone wrong.
As the snowbanks in April
And as wet leaves ruin sweets.
Dispondentness because we are not in a vacuum,
Because there are more than two (two is a vacuum).
Three is death by color
one is death by zero.
In the same way as an Aspergian's love,
And as the texture of paper.
As effort and effort
And insomnia gone wrong.
As the snowbanks in April
And as wet leaves ruin sweets.
Dispondentness because we are not in a vacuum,
Because there are more than two (two is a vacuum).
Three is death by color
one is death by zero.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
17.
Her downed pink hair,
Worn only at the sweetest of times.
We belong along the road
Running our heads full tilt:
Into the night!
Warm air in our hair
Neither warm nor cool,
Dewy grass: hold us
as Pupal lust ensue,
to bring us Anew.
to bring us Anew.
16.
Sitting, her arms are too heavy to lift and the music so blue. Never would she think her progeny imagine this moment. Her tears began to cry, oh the salty irony. Begging are her potential children of other men, looking behind at her morning the loss of this son-of-a-bitch who hurt her, hoping she gets over him. The Midwestern air is so fucking cold tonight and she despises it, the dryness too. So much Dopamine she is aware of her lips becoming slowly chapped.
I sit trillions, trillllions of "miles" away and watch her helpless and I feel the same. I would drink a case of her salty tears if I had to if it helped her. I'm in eternal debt. All her pain is mine and all mine hers, the drugs too, and the music. The blood her bones made. The tears her eyes made.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
15.
9. Because the water runs down your arms which is an irrational annoyance. Wetness isn't really that bad.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
14.
We eat fruit, not seed,
and pick out the stems.
The trees look on ironically.
"Thanks be to God" they say,
"Anatomy lessons are cruicial here,"
for separating fruit from seed,
tract from ear
is our sole and sinful need!
In a cast-iron pot,
while the canopy need not bleed,
we make our stew
as cells lyse.
and pick out the stems.
The trees look on ironically.
"Thanks be to God" they say,
"Anatomy lessons are cruicial here,"
for separating fruit from seed,
tract from ear
is our sole and sinful need!
In a cast-iron pot,
while the canopy need not bleed,
we make our stew
as cells lyse.
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