My Funeral

People could be smiling and talking I want the best beer in the world and someone to play Clair de Lune at the right decibel and everyone to close their eyes and just think for one moment about everything there, right in front of them with their eyes closed. It could be a beautiful day and I would hope people would slow to see the lichens and the bark, feel the direction of the wind and its colors we say children are children but we all could be maybe children through this one day. If anything, I would be a child then, through my funeral, somewhere in the world with new eyes a reset we all need to touch the grass again because sometimes it will tickle you like you can't yourself. Through child's eyes is how I would want people to see at my funeral. A celebration of life and process of love for me the Earth the process which beget me in Canada where I was made on some island from love for one and for the Earth. I want people to smile at the waves in the leaves that are a part of the trees we say sometimes say the leaves dance in the wind but we never see the tree waving at us by wind. Open your eyes and your heart to someone please because otherwise we will surely perish like trout in a dammed river, we made it.

Not so much

How can the previous generation...how can...how can it all be so 

sa

I was 17 when I found love in a snowglobe.

In September I saw her behind the window in his house with the light on, smiling forever.

his take on life, and me experiencing it is just again, a different asthetic. we are all doomed

77.

Everyone was sitting down to dinner when a murder came in the building! He killed one of the babies! He then killed one of the mothers! And then all of the males! Then the maid! Then there were only all the babies left! Except the older babies! The ones that were children! And the animals, the one animal the shepherd was set free! But all the babies would meet their doom! But then the police came into the crime scene, what a coincidence! But then there was an earthquake, a timequake and a spacequake at the same time! Everything shook! Except anti-stuff, anti-stuff didn't shake! Are there anti-earthquakes in anti-matter!

76.

Oh my gosh I dove in the lake
get back onto the surface
who knows whats down there
oh god its deep
how far down whatsdownthere!
is that seaweed I see?
(Or arms of monsterous sea monsters?)
To snatch me down and do what with me?
What would monsterous sea monsters
are carnivores thennnnnn
wouldnt we see a weird pattern in fish dispersal?
Anyway, Im back to the boat now
but I need to get to the back to get out
its where the ladder is
why would anyone stay in here for hours
(am I typing this on an animal?)
everything is so thick around me,
the air is so dense! I cant move unless I have to
Its like im in that water! really in the water!!

75.

I'm a decaying specimen of humaness
Stuck between bars of Titanium and Sky
I ride waves of cancer

In Kindergarten I had

been
sdk
js
dks
s

74.

eHarmony


Daily caffeine withdrawls
My professor's computer asked him:
"did u mean eHarmony?"
no one notic
ed


how that makes so much sense
why he r a n t s and claims
and has
B.A. Saint Leo University (English Literature; Theatre)
M.Phil. Trinity College Dublin (Anglo-Irish Literature)
M.T.S. Harvard University (Comparative Religion)
Ph.D. Florida State University (English Literature)

why he forgets that it is a writing class

and not English Literature 101

no one st ops him - he just talks

and we learn nothing about writing

we can't talk to him about his personal life

but he asked us to tell us one thing about ourselves on the first day

oh that really broke the ice, melted right through

he didn't get it when I said I liked ice fishing

that I had been ice fishing for 18 years

everyone in that freshman class should be 18 years old

he never listens

to anything

if he smoked weed

he would love himself

and love the earth,

love everyone on earth

love the fact that we are alive

and can feel love and that

people can love him

because some people could

if he stopped talking

for one fucking second

and let his panting heart catch up

73.

wonderyear in 2009
flavored sweeteningly
parent's garden mist
at home

tabby cats were tigers
crouched, ready
in our parents garden
we grew

3/4 of what life is
available to suck on
in the suburbs for free
for ever

nickelodeon dreams,
commercials memorized
in orange gak
and green goo

when i was 17 i fell in love
when i was 18 i fell in love
and tears
and stars

lakes were surrealist tweakings
of scientist's dreams
windy nights better reflect'd
our understanding

make me look stupid again world
I explore but rarely find anything
who bleeds or scars

72.

A failed relationship in 9 pictures
The frame seemed to clash with the image
professionally developed
colors more vibrant than static
we wiped the fog from the window,
said hello, now go,
go.

71.

tangerine air dreamt her hair
but coarse as maple bark
ready to touch the world
touch the sky,
ask,
is everything just like this?
shes online!
green beaming dot
green beaming smile next to her name
not sure what I would say:
we grew up an ocean apart
and it didnt seem to matter,
didnt seem to make us much different,
(our vectors were so close
and parallel
gods asked will they intersect,
we cant tell!)

                      ...

I like the way your knees touch when you walk
and how youll dance without music
and how Boston hasnt gotten to you yet
because you still look people in the eye.
I liked when you struggled for color
but described that air as warm
And how it was so similar to your skin.
And the way you tell stories when youre drunk,
breathing as though you have hiccups
or as though every sentence is so powerful
it takes the wind from you.

                      ...

Its silly to think I thought you were Czech.
Language barriers are redeeming. Its good to know,
there is more to interaction than.........the cutest thing
is a girl struggling to find a word in my language

I dont like this post. I would like to do portraits,
of various kinds

70.

And it must have been because

you grew up reading

and I grew up playing

that you were okay with our time together

being just a shade of love,

like your "literary crushes" you called them.

i LOVE Zooey you would say,

and I would comply....

You were okay with talk

and text

and time

defining ours,

because you grew up reading.

You typed once,

I love you.

Sometime,

sometime soon

I will be able to fully describe how 

fucking horrible everything

about everything

about you. You need it.

69.

This is not bragging, its something to think about:
People say I take risks.
I don't.
When I was young,
while others were reading,
I was developing skill.
I've never broken a bone,
never been in trouble,
I'm just really fucking skilled.
Anyone who thinks I take risks
Must have read to much as a child.

Sheltered kids live sheltered lives.
Reading kids live abstract lives.
Upbringing, upbringing is everything.

68.

In efficiency, obviously
but less of a limbic innervation.
we are lost because the way in which we communicate changed during our lifetime,
one of the few examples ever!
we must not be ashamed of this
but we must be demoralized.
forms of communication, of abstraction are engrained at a young age.
verbal communication is the most obvious, that is how we were grown! on biological, verbal, physical interaction and now, in this day, in that of internet-typing-chatting we cannot and will never be able to derive the same affection from it as will the generation who, right now is no longer toddlers. similar to the reason music is the most emotionally provocative form of art: it is the most ancient, the most readily stimulating of our limbic system (probably responsible for emoottioonns and more ancient part of brain), the most intensely wired abstraction (sound). espeeeciallllyyy music with words. in effect, it may be possible for some that wernicke's area is used in music comprehension.
stop.
my point is that my generation has the inability to derive emotion, closeness etc. reality from electronics. we are biologic organisms living in a technologic age. sad. well not sad, just not happy. but we can take pride in being the last biologic humans ever, the last unable to derive the same emotions from reality from non-reality, just like the 17-year-old cavemen when writing became a novel abstraction from speaking. we drink heavily because it allows us to forget about Facebook, and return to our childish selves. the fact is we have to. we literally do. we must drink to feel the same emotional productivity as other generations because we are fucked by technology. the coming generations will not be fucked like we are. they will be fine, but it is those in transition, us. maybe quantity will make up for quality. maybe if we interact enough we won't have to worry about quality

67.

Look, K.

I may keep you under wraps
and I may never fully find you
as far as love is.
But far as love strains on those
sunny days
and as far as it rays on those
ugh.............
Best days
I'm sure one moment
of your life you felt
how I do know, about me.

We could have had it all.
We still,
oh imagine us still!
Could have it all.

66.

Isn't this quite silly you,
you reading this blog?
Isn't it silly that the writer's you YOU
consider writers,
you've only read a miniscule fraction of
their words, and developed an opinion
from that
and an opinion about me
Young Stein,
carry me home
Young Stein,
you've happied me, for sure
and more

65.

if you have
red
this far into this "blog"
text me now
5189282955
saying "i see"
otherwise
cowardice will fall,,,
and you question why
I push you away LOL

I'm sorry and red that anyone had to see this.

64.

Dear You,

When we recently went to the pondside

and you told me you had never watched

porn,

I gaged. 

I thought only how this reinvents the idea

that you live only by literature.

"I have never watched porn

you said"

but I've read a whole deal about it

and I'm sure I wouldn't like it.

You said: "The way that it exploits

the woman,,,its ridiculous!"

"It's ridiculous!" I said, you missed the humour

because you literally don't understand.

You literally don't wish tumolt upon yourself

you literally don't find fine in physics 

and oh girl I cannot seem to find the reason

I loved you so

beyond

physics

you should know.

63.

Have you been?
                               Put aside by a thought?
Put aside by one who cherishes though?
Once I went to a store,
the clerk said:
"Have you heard of these mood rings?
everyone your age has one."
Unaware of though itself I bought a mood ring.
It was the worst decision of my life.

62.

The pier translucent "Ball" glass sits menacingly on a blunt IKEA chair infront of me. It holds 100 IBUs per something but at this point it doesn't matter, my adolescent yearning for quality has pulled out with the going March air. The beer though is unarguable good. We planned well but now it sits as stagnant as eastern mudflats. The tele'vision' runs mute. Commercials are funnier mute, they make less sense. For a moment I wonder the intricacies of "Leah F.'s" review of the "Procera AVH" but then remember that the only Leah I know, I would never even momentarily consider her review of anything valid and I pass. The commercial now, definitely an infomercial, is still playing and it fails visually. It plays like an early videogame. I've never wondered before whether others realize whats happening. Dr. Dr. MD. says here that Provera addresses three major causes of mental 'decline'.
I am biologically based, it think. I find attract in realizm and truth in empiricism. Those with me must be attuned quickly to the transition taking place right now. Many years ago a funny "obvious" change took place where humans found religion comedic. The axiom that God created was broken and all assumptions lost. Those who still follow this lost axiom of human obviousness are now deemed silly but in our days "new" questions have arose. We are now in transition from biology to technology. I as a liver  (lol) [[lololol]] have problems with the human transition from biology to circuits because it seems to compromise the definition of human itself. Language is what separated us from chimps and bonobos and now the media is changing. Media is an overlooked term in human existence. Since the first caveman translating speech into writing no media change has occurred as significant as that which we may observed. Everything is now circuits. We assume that Facebook is not tampering with our information. We assume they have databases and servers. We assume the servers are of the highest quality. We assume that the programmers understand physics. We assume that silicon transfers energy in the behavior they describe because if not, if it transmits it differently at a high rate, Tatiana is in a relationship with David and biology is shot. Look, I'm not wasted. IBUs have not gotten to me. Creativity is in the plunge and I sit on the edge of a lake ironically. The "Ball" jar is still half-full the mute-infomercials are still funny. The air is warm and comforting but my world is tennuable, stepply.
Unlost, college awaits only the idiotic soul.

61.

Match.com profile:

Looking for empirical girl

interested in quality,

preferably biology major.

Hopefully very apt at

empathizing with birds

and anything thus trite.

Willing to find character

in anything tangible

and anything poppy.

Ready to admit the irony

when satire is flung. 

Okay with 

red

blue

white

and green

tangent flags.

Ready, as Hemingway so mortally was

to seek refuge in sense.

This is not a poem.